HP Songs
by the-wolf-fenrirhotmail.com
Summary: This is a collection of funny songs I came up with based on Harry Potter


Numerous HP Songs (most I have posted, some totally new)

__

Ode of Frustration

Why can't he see me when I stand before him

Never will I hear the words, "Oh I adore, Gin."

These thoughts run wild through my head

Yelling things of hope and dread

The love that fills my insides only hurts

When I realize I can never be her

I'll never be the one with his eyes on me

And he'll never know that he's the one I see

I'll never be beautiful, I'll never be pretty,

I'll never be gorgeous, why am I silly?

These feelings welling up and me,

These feelings he only I can see.

Try to break through my strong walls,

And flow through me, to him they call.

My heart a flutter, my mind a race,

The blood flows quickly to my face.

It can't be true, it must a dream!

I think he just, well, glanced at me…

__

The Song of a Sorting Hat

One year alone is all I ask

One year without this silly task

"Gryffindor's good, Slytherin Sucks

I think I will now barf up muck."

They make me sing such strange, strange songs

If they think I like it oh how they are wrong

I dread each second of the music

Talent I have but they abuse it

They believe that what I do is right

Have they ever thought of my stage fright?

Oh well I guess I must stop whining,

For the students want to start their dining

Time for the music, time for the show

Oh great, oh crap, oh no, oh no!

Now they are trying to hurry me along

Would they believe I just forgot my song?

__

Hufflepuff's True Feelings

Oh, Hufflepuffs, we have no brains,

We only work without complain.

Sure the are loyal, sure they like tarts,

But gasp! How could one be smart?

I'm sick of this, this foul rumor,

I always hear it, I have no tumor!

But no, they care not about our feelings,

Poppy was a Huff and she does healings!

I hide my tears when they try to come,

But it is tough when others make fun.

I always like a laugh, "That's rich!"

But things that are rich come at my expense.

Oh finally, we have new pride!

For Cedric has just hitched us a ride!

On the long, long train of happiness,

For in this tournament we shall not be missed

Oh no, what's that? This can't be true!

That Potter boy was picked it too!

That lying, cheating, no-good… drat!

I wish he would lie down, his face for my mat.

Oh well, Cedric will just have to fight harder,

And if he doesn't he will go down like Carter (Jimmy that is)!

__

Ode to Sirius  
  
As the wind flows across the sea's tide,  
My heart beats fast, my heart, it falls lop-side.  
My terrors throw themselves before my eyes,  
As fear itself flows by my cell outside.  
The cries of pain and suffering  
can not be muffled by my screams.  
It's killing me so slow-l-y,  
I wish this death would run and flee.  
My head pounds with a pain so horribly great,  
this can not truly be my fate.  
Destiny has struck me hard,  
It has dealt me the worst cards.  
I wish someone could see through me,  
see that I would never be.  
A criminal, a liar too.  
A murderer, that day I'll rue.  
When I came upon the Potter House  
I felt so low not unlike that mouse.  
Oh why can't I just kill myself?  
Get it done, my life an empty shelf.  
But I can't, because you see,  
I have a mission that's eating me.  
I must get out, I must escape!  
To catch him once and use the stake.  
He will not live another day,  
And no he will now dearly pay.  
With his life oh with his skin,  
I will rip him limb from limb.  
My heart it keeps a frantic beat,  
but now you see what I have seen…

__

Ode to Moony  
  
The moon shows through the dark night sky,  
It saddens me, I don't know why.  
It takes my breath and chills my bones,  
The change it starts, I'm all alone.  
My body burns with wild hate,  
I'll never know, why this my fate?  
The wolf inside tears through my mind,  
Why must I become this cruel kind.  
I cry my silent tears this night,  
My bloody rage I try to fight.  
I can not help but think of him,  
My solemn brother, my closest friend.  
I dark figure lurks in here,  
Oh god I wish that he was near!  
The blackest dog of my deep dreams,  
His image fades a flickered gleam.  
I reach out for him, take his hand,  
He slips away a grain of sand.  
I can not feel my shattered soul,  
what's wrong with me I feel so cold...

__

The "Bad Boy" Side of the Sorting Hat

Gryffindor is Great, Slytherin Sucks,

I will now go barf up some muck.

Why not join them Hufflepuffs?

Oh yeah, chess with them is _real_ tough.

How about those Ravenclaws?

Sure their smart but watch those claws (Cat Fight!).

I guess you could just join them Gryffindor,

With the Weasely's around you'll never be bored.

Those Slytherin's can be okay,

But they died me green the other day.

Sure you could just not go here,

Bousbeaxtons nice, the Fleur's got a rear!

Durmstrang's fine if you want to be evil,

Though, the Headmaster's a little weasel.

Or maybe you'd rather American schools?

I would go but those kids are like bulls!

Screaming and shouting and fighting about,

It is enough to make my hair fall out (if I had any).

Okay, I'm tired of this stupid old song,

I think I'll go now and smoke my hash bong.

__

Harry's Ode to Quidditch

As I walk upon the field,

My broom to me like a shield.

Fred shakes hands with Cho Chang,

She's such a hottie, dang!

How I'll concentrate with her around,

Just thinking about it makes me frown.

I straddle my broom and rise in the air,

The wind blows fiercely back my hair.

The quaffle soars through chasers' hands,

The crowd cheers heartily in the stands.

That bitch is trailing me too close,

But I'll lose her and now she's toast.

Wow those two are sum good beaters,

Fred shouldn't drink, look at him teeter.

Oh no she's flying for the snitch,

I'll beat her that stupid witch!

Here I come much faster than you,

She was bluffing what great poo!

Oh, I see it over there!

I charged at her and gave her a scare.

I didn't mean to beat her so,

But I caught the snitch you stupid ho!

__

Oops… The Dark Lord's Not Dead

Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah  
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah  
  
I think the Dark Lord's not dead  
I thought I beat him but he was just fakin in the end  
Oh baby  
It might seem like he's crushed  
But it doesn't mean that he's serious  
'Cause to lose all his powers  
Is not so typically him  
Oh baby, baby  
  
Chorus:  
Oops!...The Dark Lord's not dead  
I fought the dark lord, he lost in the end  
Oh baby, baby  
Oops!...I thought he was dead  
I even saw him drop like lead  
He's so not innocent  
  
You see my problem is this  
He should be away  
Wishing his death, he wouldn't exist  
I cry, watching the days  
When he hurts all those people in so many ways  
But to lose all his powers  
That is just not typically him  
Baby, oh  
  
Chorus:  
Oops!...The Dark Lord's not dead  
I fought the dark lord, he lost in the end  
Oh baby, baby  
Oops!...I thought he was dead  
I saw him drop like lead  
He's so not innocent  
  
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah  
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah  
  
"The Dark Lord!"  
"Harry, before you go, there's something I want you to have"  
"Oh, don't you even try it, but wait, isn't this...?"  
"Yeah, everyone I've killed."  
"But I thought that bringing back the dead was impossible."  
"Well Harry, with priori inccantatum anything is possible."  
"Oh, you little (censor)."  
  
Oops!...I got away again  
He was to hard to take down, oh baby  
Oops!...You don't believe me he's back  
But I'm dead serious  
  
Chorus:  
Oops!...The Darke Lord's not dead  
I fought the dark lord, he lost in the end  
Oh baby, baby  
Oops!... I thought he was dead  
I saw him drop like lead  
He's so not innocent  
  
Chorus:  
Oops!...The Dark Lord's not dead  
I fought the dark lord, got away in the end  
Oh baby, baby  
Oops!...You don't think he is back  
That he's gone for good  
But boy are you wrong

__

The Harry Potter and da Sorceror's Stone Rap  
  
Yo, yo, yo! Listen up my peeps as I rap ya a lil story now.  
  
Well once there was this boy who lived  
He flew on a motorcycle with Hagrid  
He never knew he beat the Dark Lord  
Till his uncle stopped the mail with a board  
Now he was cool, ya he was fly  
He learned he was good in the sky  
He dove real fast and flew like a bullet  
Mcgonagal saw and she knew it  
"Yo, Wood, I said come over here,  
I think I found yo Seeker near.  
He may look puny and not that rough,  
but with him Gryffindor will sure be tough."  
"Thanks professor I got yo back,  
Now I'll take him out and see if he's got the scrap.  
Yo, snap dog! He flew like a angel,  
Beatin down that snitch and now it barely dangles.  
Okay boy I think you gonna make it,  
With you playin seek the cup we gonna take it."  
Harry Was happy cuz he knew he was dope,  
he thought about quidditch and winning he hoped.  
Now he is going down through the door,  
let's hope that thing won't kill him on the floor.  
"Herm, what's wrong witch chu?  
You a witch, use the wand too!"  
She sprang up a fire and back it went,  
Shriveled like a raisin in a heat vent.  
Now Harry saw that there those keys in the air,  
he took up a broom and Herm was scared.  
"Yo, boy, be careful up there!"  
"Shut up girl I gots da flare!"  
Now they went to the board and the door they saw,  
but couldn't get passed tell they beat those pawns.  
"Harry you take that one and Herm you this,  
Now I'll be here and win like a fish.  
Oh snap, this is the way it's gotta be,  
see ya lata peace!"  
Ron flew through the air his head all beaten,  
"Crap, man, Voldy beware cuz now I'm freaken."  
He stormed through the door with Herm at his side,  
She took up the note and let out a sigh.  
"Oh, wow, this is logic no lie,  
Most would suck but through this I'll fly."  
She just drank up and left through the do',  
Then it was his turn and he was all alo'.  
"Okay Snape get ready for me,  
cuz here I come on the count of three!"  
There was one, two, then three he went,  
Shot through the door and found it was different.  
"Hey kid, watcha doin here?  
Oh well, watch out cuz here comes fear."  
Now Harry's head, it really hurt,  
but he tried to focus on that little jerk.  
"I told you man I see myself in the mirror,  
With the house cup comin to me clearer."  
"Lies, lies, bring him too me!  
You will give me that stone and set me free."  
Now Harry tried to run but it was just no use,  
but when he touched his flesh it kicked his kaboose.  
"Ah, man, my skin, so bad it burns,  
Leave me alone kid cuz now it's your turn."  
That wand was a flashing and Harry was scared,  
But then he blacked out and woke up in here.  
"Yo, dog, please tell me what happened!"  
"We lost the cup and Voldy's no friend.  
You beat his ass back there in with the stone,  
Now he's so weak he can't pick up a phone."  
Well everyone was happy, dere was much rejoicin,  
and Harry and co even got them pointin.  
"Yo, whats that? The flags just changed!  
Gryffindor wins and the Slyth's are in pain.

__

Slytherin Pride

Evil, cunning, and devious we are,  
The other's are jealous and watch from afar.  
They wish they were me,  
as cool as can be.  
A member of the best house,  
A Gryffindor's pride we douse.  
Just because we are better than others,  
Doesn't mean that you all must smother.  
It doesn't seem fair that EVERYONE hates us,  
We only do bad things if we must.  
At least I am god at potions,  
Now where did I put my acne lotion.  
Oh posh, I don't smell!  
That isn't me it's just smelly Mel.  
Yeah, I know, he really should bathe,  
But all we can do is keep our faith.  
At least it isn't as bad for you,  
I must share a dorm with him too!  
Oh look at that oaf putting up trees,  
Doesn't he know you must lift at the knees?  
I guess if we must it is time for McGonagall,  
Wow she's an animagi? She shocked us all!  
Oh great, big deal, I could do it if I could.  
All I need is some money from daddy, maybe I should.  
Oh man that Potter kid is coming this way,  
Draco tripped him look at him sway!  
Oh darn here comes that man,  
Argh! Where's Draco? Could he be on the fan?  
No, he isn't, it seems he has changed.  
A ferret he is, let's hope he has fangs.  
Drat, time for another class.  
Oh well, I don't care a bit.  
If I make bad grades I'll just throw a fit.  
And then dad will just have to help,  
Some money should make a teacher yelp.  
Yes money, a Slyths best friend.  
For without it how do make a grade bend?  
Well I guess I should be off now,  
If I don't the Weasely might mess with my hair!

__

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets Rap  
  
Once upon a British time,  
Harry saw de's big green eyes.  
It scared him bad and he cursed his cousin,  
Da boss was coming and make noise he musn't.  
So he bes sittin on his bed when this dude showed up,  
"Harry I bes Dobby, sup?"  
"Yo dude shut yo mouth,  
If my uncle hears yo I'm runnin south."  
"Home boy you're awesome now shut up,  
If you goes to Hogwarts you'll come back in a cup."  
"Sure whatever, now leave me alone."  
"You didn't listen now I'm breakin da bowl."  
Harry went to da burrow and gnomes he flung,  
But the Dudley's still stunk like fresh dung.  
He got all his crap and smashed his damn cart,  
"Yo boy, I'm so mad I could fart."  
They jacked a low-rider and off they flew,  
They crashed their car and a tree they slew.  
They got a letter that smoked at the edges,  
Molly was fuming and liked cheese wedges.  
They felt real bad but felt worse when the saw,  
He wanted to punch his teacher's jaw.  
He was dumb as a pineapple and smelled like one two.  
"I'm a little idiot, boo-hoo-boo-hoo."  
Colin was frozen after da Quidditch game,  
He still had his camera yo boy how lame.  
They talked to Malfoy under disguise,  
Trying to find if he was the right guy.  
"Herm you idiot what did you do!  
You now a cat and a bizatch it's true!"  
Harry wa rappin it straight from the heart,  
but he was goin crazy with the voices like darts.  
"Kill, death, kill, death."  
"Ah! That's scarier than Ron's breath!"  
They followed those spiders and talked to that dude,  
He old them what they wanted then got real rude.  
He was gonna eat em but they couldn't get down,  
that Ford came for em and took em around.  
Herm, that stupid ho, she got frozed.  
"Without her notes I'll be hosed!"  
Ginny was takin and Lockhart was goin for her,  
They wanted to help but found him a coward, der!  
They went to that Chamber to get Gin,  
Lockhart hit himself so bad he couldn't count to ten.  
Harry went through and saw that Tom.

Harry felt beatin him and droppin dat bomb.  
"Was up my brother from another mother?  
I would talk mo' but the girl you got I luv her.  
Now put her down and walk away,  
or my foot in your face will be the way.  
"Can you calm down a lil yo?  
Just let me call my pet fido."  
He called that snake and the fight began,  
It didn't look good at first and Harry would have ran.  
But Help appeared suddenly,  
A big ole bird with hat made crappily.  
"What the hell do I do with this?  
A chicken and piece of cloth? What (word that is not crap)!  
Dumbldore is one dumb son of a biscuit,  
If he thinks I can win with this why don't he risk it?"  
"Oh quit yo bitchin and get it done,  
I want to get out of here and have some fun!"  
That evil kid was laughing at him,  
Harry was pissed, what was his name? Tim?  
"Okay dude, take this then!"  
Harry reached his hand in a pulled a sword of tin.  
"It may be crap but its all I got,  
Time to move without being shot."  
Harry took that thing and shoved it up that snake's hole,  
"Dang man, no one deserves not even Bob Dole."  
The book got burned and Harry lived.  
Though, he couldn't help but feel miffed.  
"What was he thinking? A bird and a hat?  
Next time I see him he'll get a lil of that."  
Gryffindor won the cup and there was some fun,  
a huge part ensued when it was all done.  
Herm got drunk of tequila shots,  
She started to strip and people watched lots.  
Harry gave in and got his fill,  
The Heroine needle's still on his window-sill.  
George got LSD and felt so high,  
he jumped out the window cuz he thought he could fly.  
Fred went next cuz he was bored,  
But soon they realized they had forgotten the cord.  
Dumbledore said a few words later,  
"Pack up yo shit cuz I'm not Ralph Nader."  
Harry went home and beat down his aunt,  
Vernon was scared and Dudley was gaunt.  
"If anyone ever touches me again,  
I will personally grab you and WHAM!"


End file.
